Suicide Expert

[Calculations]

Hello.

When I went to my old school, A catholic K - 8, I became known as the gawthy kid. I really wasn't even that goth, but I did listen to manson and I wasn't baptized, so that was a reasonable cause for the label. I didn't really mind it, but it did come with some riders that were very amusing.

When the only black girl in the school [She's half black. Whats the racial slur for that again?] goes out with the whitest kid in school [German-Irish-Scared shitless of me] you know something is going down. So, a while back, I don't know why I just remembered this, but at a party the white kid tried to break up with his black girlfriend, and she was utterly destroyed by this, in the midst of it all, she pulled me back into the shrubs and, half in tears, asked me how many aspirin it would take to kill herself. I asked her how much she weighed, because it's one aspirin per lb that you weigh. She stood sort of dumbfounded and walked off, sobbing.

It was then that I realized that the reason so many girls are still alive and haven't commited aspirin suicide, is because non of them are honest with themselves about how much they weigh.

I was known as a suicide expert at that school. Wouldn't you think that a suicide expert would be, uhm, FUCKING DEAD?

So, does anyone have any other humorous stories concerning suicide?

Calculations.

[PlatinumOrgy]

maybe you're so gawth you died and you didn't even notice...

[mr feeny]

cliffnotes???

and i hate goths lawl

[Hazekiah]

Load up on guns and bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over bored and self assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word

Hello, hello, hello, how low? (x3)
Hello, hello, hello!

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yay! (x3)

I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

Hello, hello, hello, how low? (x3)
Hello, hello, hello!

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yay! (x3)

And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it's hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

Hello, hello, hello, how low? (x3)
Hello, hello, hello!

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido

A denial! (x9)

[Calculations]

Originally posted by PlatinumOrgy
maybe you're so gawth you died and you didn't even notice...

OMG LOL JUSTKIDDING>

[mr feeny]

Originally posted by PlatinumOrgy
maybe you're so gawth you died and you didn't even notice...

thats pretty goth

i hate goths.

[_oswald]

My pal's ex-girlfriend theatened to kill herself by injesting a tube of toothpaste.

Totally pissed me off because he broke into his bathroom thinking there was an actual emergency goin' down.

[mr feeny]

Originally posted by _oswald
My pal's ex-girlfriend theatened to kill herself by injesting a tube of toothpaste.

Totally pissed me off because he broke into his bathroom thinking there was an actual emergency goin' down.

was she goth?
lawl

[_oswald]

Originally posted by mr feeny
was she goth?
lawl
She was a fat bitch obsessed with Hanson.

[Hazekiah]

Originally posted by PlatinumOrgy
maybe you're so gawth you died and you didn't even notice...
When I moved to a new town in high school I overheard a coupla kids having a conversation about why I wore all black.

Kid #1: "I think he's in mourning."

Kid #2: "I think he's undead."

Kid #3: "Maybe he's in mourning for his own death?"



I <3 that kid.

:)

[mr feeny]

Originally posted by _oswald
She was a fat bitch obsessed with Hanson.

ack!

http://mikemariano.com/materials/nofatchicks.jpg
http://orgs.jmu.edu/mensultimate/History_Pics/2002-2003_Season/no%20fat%20chicks.jpg

[R3FL3CT1NG_G0D]

Originally posted by Calculations

It was then that I realized that the reason so many girls are still alive and haven't commited aspirin suicide, is because non of them are honest with themselves about how much they weigh.



Heh, that got me laughing

[Blazedin a Maze]

You had parties in 8th grade where you would drink alcohol????

Wow....

[AbsintheSpade]

Originally posted by PlatinumOrgy
maybe you're so gawth you died and you didn't even notice...

LOLLERSKATEZ! *HUGZ*

z|OMGaw That was awesome....

[j_absinthe]

Originally posted by Calculations

I was known as a suicide expert at that school. Wouldn't you think that a suicide expert would be, uhm, FUCKING DEAD?
As they say: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

[Calculations]

Originally posted by Blazedin a Maze
You had parties in 8th grade where you would drink alcohol????

Wow....

Naw, no one was drunk, really.

Originally posted by m_absinthe
As they say: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

It would be a fun class to teach, don't deny it.

[safety pins]

I used to have a friend who cut herself. She would carve into her wrists little hearts with names in them. I tried my best to stop her. She would never cut enough to spill blood but to only have little droplets of it like a sharp scratch. She was one screwed up little girl. I payed little attention to her because I could tell that she was only doing it for attention and not to seriously hurt herself. I later found out that the little names in the hearts were mine. It totally worried me that she was doing that to get my attention. It was fucked up to the Xtreme.

[Laur_Laur]

Originally posted by Blazedin a Maze
You had parties in 8th grade where you would drink alcohol????

Wow....


I'm going into 9th grade and I know a few people who would come to school the day after the party with a hangover.

[Persephone]

Originally posted by Laur_Laur
I'm going into 9th grade and I know a few people who would come to school the day after the party with a hangover.
Tis a sad, sad world we live in.

[Calculations]

Originally posted by Persephone
Tis a sad, sad world we live in.

Yeah it is.

[Oamlhtw]

Originally posted by Laur_Laur
I'm going into 9th grade and I know a few people who would come to school the day after the party with a hangover. What the hell? That's horrible.

[j_absinthe]

Originally posted by Calculations

It would be a fun class to teach, don't deny it. Don't I know it. It'd be Suicide 101, or MySpace Homeroom.

[Eris23]

Originally posted by safety pins
I used to have a friend who cut herself. She would carve into her wrists little hearts with names in them. I tried my best to stop her. She would never cut enough to spill blood but to only have little droplets of it like a sharp scratch. She was one screwed up little girl. I payed little attention to her because I could tell that she was only doing it for attention and not to seriously hurt herself. I later found out that the little names in the hearts were mine. It totally worried me that she was doing that to get my attention. It was fucked up to the Xtreme.

emo much?

[blood_soaked]

Originally posted by Calculations
Hello.

When I went to my old school, A catholic K - 8, I became known as the gawthy kid. I really wasn't even that goth, but I did listen to manson and I wasn't baptized, so that was a reasonable cause for the label. I didn't really mind it, but it did come with some riders that were very amusing.

When the only black girl in the school [She's half black. Whats the racial slur for that again?] goes out with the whitest kid in school [German-Irish-Scared shitless of me] you know something is going down. So, a while back, I don't know why I just remembered this, but at a party the white kid tried to break up with his black girlfriend, and she was utterly destroyed by this, in the midst of it all, she pulled me back into the shrubs and, half in tears, asked me how many aspirin it would take to kill herself. I asked her how much she weighed, because it's one aspirin per lb that you weigh. She stood sort of dumbfounded and walked off, sobbing.

It was then that I realized that the reason so many girls are still alive and haven't commited aspirin suicide, is because non of them are honest with themselves about how much they weigh.

I was known as a suicide expert at that school. Wouldn't you think that a suicide expert would be, uhm, FUCKING DEAD?

So, does anyone have any other humorous stories concerning suicide?

Calculations.

It's really too bad you haven't killed yourself yet.

[safety pins]

emo much?




yeah, maybe just a bit.

[Calculations]

Originally posted by blood_soaked
It's really too bad you haven't killed yourself yet.

Thats the first on topic thing you've said in a damn long time.

[failure]

In highschool, I dressed like a typical goth (pink/blk stockings, red overtop of black fishnets, cut off short knee high boots eye liner lip stick etc.) and I was in a good mood for once, I kicked open a door and some preppy cunt scream at me to calm down so with a big smile I yelled "fuck you!" and she stoped to say something but some random kid said "shhh! don't talk to him, he knows satan!" Not about suicide, but it made me laugh and I thought it would make a good story

[blak-widow]

Christian schools seem to have lots of troubled kids that think that killing themselves is the best idea.

[Barbarella]

A friend of mine tried to take an overdose of pills but after she took the first two aspirins she felt better.

[blak-widow]

wait...make that all girl christian schools seem to have lots of troubled girls that want to kill themselves for all the wrong reasons